i am so happy right now because mummy bought for my computer a new wireless adaptor BUT, i had to pay her back when i got my pay. haha. whatever it is, i've been wanting to blog about my lovely friends, who spent their time with me just to celebrate my seventeenth. yes yes, i've turned seventeen finally eh rakan-rakan. haha. and i can blog about other things later. hehe.

7th november.
we head to vivo. just to walk around and zahir needs to settle some things. we planned to meet at four. and so i met zahir first, and this guy was so fucking hungry that he was moodless and shaking, i guess. he like that, very boring la. then fuad joined us and then we went on to vivo first, just the three of us. had a smoke outside while waiting for adek and we took some photos la since fuad bring along his DSLR what.

then we did some window shopping. me and fuad bought wallet and fuad and zahir kept on making themselves disappear. and then they made me try on reef slipper and they played with my heart at first, because they say no one's gonna buy that for me. so i guess, it's okay la kan. then me and adek went starbucks and ordered caramel frappe. then fuad and zahir came back and then adek gave me mini-sabo on my face with the whipped cream. and then zahir was being VERY sweet enough to carry my bag all the way and i'll tell you guys why, later.

we continue our window shopping and then i don't know what we did and at last, ezzul and sas reached. more of window shopping and we got separated because me, adek and sas wanted to eat. and while we're eating, this three boys, zahir, fuad and ezzul went to giant and started to step handsome la, duhhh. that's what they always do. hehe. after all of that, we met somewhere at the fountain near the main entrance and guess what, we all got ourselves wet. i said fountain and wet, so you all should get what i mean. zahir pulled me so hard that i could not run anywhere. and they said it was my so called birthday bash. we were fucking wet.

and then this budak kecik wanted to play the arcade. went up, i didn't play a things except for the stupid para-para thing and i made a fool out of myself la. and then i got a lil' bit excited. and i started to play around with the dog balloon,which was destroyed, that i got from i don't know who. then we chilled, and then there's nothing much that we did except that we had to rush for the last train.

the most embarassing thing was, they sang a birthday song to me in the train, where everybody can hear you, right when the clock strike 12. i got super paiseh and then they showed me the reason why they carried my bag wherever they go. i got a reef slipper from them and it was bloody touching la wei. i almost cried. hahaha. and then they alighted at simei, and send me to my block while i go up and have a quick shower and bring them some food and drinks.

and i got paitao-ed by iyllia nazry on my birthday. how nice of him.

8th November
i woke up, finding myself all alone at home and i was pretty sad. there was no food no nothing. then i decided to go to the shop downstairs to buy roti. then i saw my family and i approached them. and i saw mummy holding on to my birthday cake. wuaaahhhhhh. and the next funny thing was, mummy wass being very secretive that she went into the room to call someone and shut the door. and then my cute daddy terlepas cakap and he said,
dad : tengok mak kao ni. nak call canadian pizza, mcm call mataer.
me : OHHHHH. nak call canadian pizza ehhhhhh? heh heh heh heh.
dad : aik alamak. *covering his mouth*

then we went to keppel bay. took some pictures here and there and then they sent me to tampines to spent some time with my friends.

i know it's a bit too later to say thank you to all those people who wasted their 5cents just to wish me through text message and through anything la. so people, thank you everybody for the wishes, the presents and everything else. i love love love you people okay. i'll upload the pics some other time.

my baby turned three today.

currently waiting for my cousins and their family to reach here and around 6 or 7, it's family time for us. we're heading to marina barrage since my sister got the Canon Eos Digital camera with her. and i just 'joken-eks' with that camera just a moment ago. pfft.

and guess what, today i paitao-ed work. haha. because it is so very the tiring for me. i had to overtime for 2 weeks straight okay, and i had to work for 12 hours lagik. i tak sanggup. and i gave my supervisor a very last minute reason. as in i didn't know what to say to him, and at last, i said i was sick and today is my brother's engagement day. you seee, how kental. but that guy still asked me to come and he is somehow half-hearted to give me a half-day off. so, it's better that i paitao right. and today is the second day i ponteng. less kachings. HAHA.

and i said, i was being pampered alot, lately. this superb guys made me felt like a princess. haha. sas fetch me from work yesterday despite the fact that he ended work at 3 and he needs some rest at home. haha. and fuad massaged me because my neck hurt like fuck. but the n zahir irritates me with his, "diam la malina.". but he's the only one who asked me this,
"birthday kao, kao nk gi mana?"
but i know it doesn't mean anything la. haha. the others wanted to keep themselves busy when 8november comes.

talking about birthday. you ever heard someone work so hard that she totally forgets about her birthday? haha.
fuad : eh mal, next sunday kao keje?
me : tah. aku rasa ahh. tgk ah cam mane.
fuad : ala. tkya uh.
me : huh? asal? EH A'AH LA SUNDAY BIRTHDAY AKU. HAHAHA

stupid rightt.

ah. other than that, lemme tell you people, that i'm being so pampered by my friends. hehe. one would piggyback me when we end work because my feets hurt and the other would always walk me home till my block whenever we lepak simei or he's going to simei and when he made me sweat alot bya forcing me to do some exercise and he's the one who accompanied me through sms all the time. and the other is in woodlands and he said he miss me, but i know he didn't mean it because he only said that so i fetch him from woodlands. AHAHAHA. muke kalau handsome takpe jugak. HAHA

i'm tired today, i mean on the 23rd oct.

i started work today at some factory, doing something. the work wasn't tiring at all BUT what made it tiring was we had to stand throughout the 8hours, except for the lunch and breaks la. makan taik wai. but the people there were fun. all makciks2, all kakaks2, but they kind of blend in with the teenagers kind of language and i kinda had fun listening to them talking shits like us do. lol. AND, i was a loner for a day. i got separated with fuad and sas. i made new friends and there's alot of familiar faces in that place but i know that i don't know them but i've seen them somewhere. lol.

k. whatever. so, i said i kinda made new friends, that includes the 2 guys which ask me ridiculous questions.
1st guy :
*i was walking towards the toilet and i kept on walking*
guy : melayu eh?
me : huh?
guy : malay?
me : HUH?
guy : melayu ehhhh?
me : ahh laa.

2nd guy :
*smoking alone satu corner and he and his friends came, sat near me*
guy : psst. melayu eh?
me : iyer.

of course la i'm malay right. the funny thing about the second guy was he did asked me a question before this in malay and i answered in malay as well. here's what he said, while i was walking towards the toilet again.
guy : boleh kerja?
me : boleh uh. *smiling*
paderhal dalam hati aku tengah menyumpah ajer that place cannot let us sit while doing work.

weird la eh. and at 5.30, i walked home limping because my smelly feets hurt like hell. and just when i take off my shoes, it feels like heaven for me and then i had a rest till 8plus.

went out of home at 9plus and met zahir and all at his void deck. they had a game of Risk Godlord ke ape kejada nta, and they leave me and zahir not doing anything.

Zahir became my fitness trainer for the night. he made me sweat alot and made me more tired. he made me do some leg exercise, pull ups and something that got to do with the chest. i struggled alot la, and this guy loves it when he sees me struggling. pfft. and then, when we want to get back to his void deck from the 288 fitness corner, he made me jog and worse, sprint. he said this is a physical training and the emotional thinking because he wants me to think positive.

haha. thanks la yer abang zahir yang handsome, sapau, cute, yang segalanyer la. hehe.

and then they sent me home since they're heading to simei too to meet hareez. lol.

and guess what, i've blogged about my day after a long time of not doing it. LOL. and, i'll not update much, since i malas already want to use the stupid pathetic computer. pfft.

lemme post about my so called irritating friends again. but this time, they've been good. see, like i said, when there's an unpleasant things to say about them, there will always be the nicest things to hear and that's what made me love them. love them more than i love a boyfriend. HAHA.

you see my recent post got all of them came talking to me, trying to cheer me up and stuffs. but i still didn't share my whole story with them. but ezzul knows everything. simply because, he know what it's like to be in a year plus relationship and how sucky it felt when you break up.

1. sas.
he's the first one to read my bloggie. he did nothing much except for, "sedih nyer" and the ,"*hugs*" in msn. but i'm sure he'll be there for me when i need him, right sas? lol. and yea, he texted me before i went to sleep,
"mal. tkmo pikir2 kan sangat.........."

i really don't remember what he said. but this guy teman-ed me through the darkest hour like literally darkest hour. i meant when i couldn't sleep and he'll keep me company through the night and sometimes morning. lol.

2. fuad.
he tag my blog. go read it. i don't remember what he wrote but i know it's about calling him or zahir if i'm down. but, this guy came down to my block to take sony ericsson charger from me and he gave me a hug just when i meet him. but he made me smell his armpit. naseb kao, ketiak kao bau deodorant okay.

3. zahir
he's the third one to come across my blog. he leave me a text message. ahh, this guy, full of random things and nonsense. hahaha. a long text message with some tak perlu info la. so here's what the text looks like,
"and ni bukan kalau mendak ke rindu ke msg tau. ni mendak ke rindu ke sedih ke marah ke tak happy ke tak puas ke tak kenyang ke kenyang ke merajok ke busok ke terpikir pasal aku ke nak rokok ke nak duet ke nak jumpe ke nak makan ke nak kiss ke nak hug ke nak maen ke nak mataer ke apape lah, msg lah aku okay. bye syg. sayang saaayaaaang sayang. haha"

see, all that tak perlu 'ke itu ke ini", especially the coming to the last2 part eh. and not forgetting he wasted some time to post something up for me in his blog.


walauuey. ini budak bastard you know want to pull my fats. lol. but he's still the best and see how random he is. and i guess he'll be here for me because he ask me to text him what whenever i got a problem to share.

4. ezzul.
ahh, the one who call me "GEMOK" now but he's the best of them all. he made my cried while reading his replies in FB. he put in such sweet words/advices, but too bad, i can't copy paste them here because some of it disappear just like that. what i remember was,
"we made this bet was because we wanted to help you. i don't fucking care if you didn't give me the cigg or what. i don't want you to keep on pondering about stuff and we didn't want to hear you blabbering about him. we just wanted to help. you're my good friend. aku btol2 syg kao, sebagai kawan and i want to see all my friends happy."

"haha. mal,ingat. kao ada pape, tkmo simpan2. aku ada sia. hey, ni ezzul yg _____________. haha..."
and you all must be wondering why is there an empty blank. well, it's for me and ezzul to know, and for you to find out. because i think if i let people know what he said exactly, i know he would kill me. hehe. malu kan member aku yang satu ni nanti. hahaha.

and then i said, i must learn to keep things to myself too, right. and he said,
"up to u. if u wan to keep it to urself den go ahead. but if its sumth u hav to tok abt, den dun hav second tots la"

ezzul have been the one who has been listening all my shits about him all this while whenever i miss that someone, i had a big quarrel with him under the void deck and whatsoever. it doesn't matter if it's through the net, or phone or at the marina steps or anywhere. he's been there for me. he'll ask what happened, why am i crying and stuff. and sometimes, i wet his shirt with my tears too. haha. so thanks for being there for me always alright, my good friend. lol.

not forgetting azzy who asked me to chill and said that this is all a cobaan that i have to face. lol.

let me tell you people that, this post may offend some people and it can be so called a so very emotional post. so, let me clear this and say sorry to whoever who terasa before i start the post. and this is my blog, my rants yea? so, i shouldn't hide anymore and come, let me share what i have in mind right now.

first and foremost, i know we had a deal/bet about something. i can clearly remember that everyday without anybody reminding me. but, this thing ain't get any better even when i made a deal about this. i miss him a whole lot now and i need someone to talk to about this. i've lost, i know, i don't even give a shit about that. you people will get your pack of cigg when i have some cash on me. so who will be here for me now? i don't think anyone would even care if it's about him. dude, i know i really have to get over this. but the things is, i can't. i really can't okay. what can i do about it? nothing. you can't force things, and i don't want to force things either. you people don't start thinking that i never even make an effort to make things better for me. i did. but i failed terribly.

i had a friend who said she didn't want to stay home because she doesnt want to be alone. that is what i've been feeling for this past year. so that's why i need you people. but you people just don't wanna hear it and i find it awkward to share with you people again and again and again until you're sick of it. you people don't know a clue about how deep my feelings is towards him when we're together. i put all my heart and soul to the relationship but he leaves me just like that and it really hurts until now. he's happy now, so i guess i should too. i don't have a clue myself on how to get over this. easy to say to get over this and stuff. TRUTH IS, i can't, and i can't force myself too. all you people know is that i laughed alot now and then, i'm a happy-go-lucky girl but you people don't really know me quite well. things are not good at home, with my mum endless naggings and stuff which is killing me.

i've deleted his numbers, i've thrown some things that he gave to me. but sorry, all that cannot help me if i can't erase off all those memories. i don't know where to hide anymore. i don't know who i can turn to. sorry if i didn't say this right infront of your face, because i don't know how to do so. i rely on people. and i used to rely on him too much to give me strength and happiness and stuff. but now he's gone, just like that, and i've started to rely on you people. i act all independent and strong infront of you people. but i'm just not strong anymore. i cried at every littlest thing. yes, i'm a gembeng, i know.

to you zahir, it's true when you gave me a piece of advice that is to stay positive. but, i can't keep on thinking positive because everything that has happened is always the negative to me. lol.

pfft. so my mr irritating friends, if you're done reading this, give me a hug when we meet up because i really need that right now. like i said to zahir, i need time. ALOT of it. see, how miserable my life is now. anyways, thank you people for spending some time to listen to me.

okay, i'm done with my ever so emotional post. i need to get some sleep now. it's 0520hours already. selamat malams.

this is malina. i'm still young and i'm almost happy in life. i dont drink. i don't club and of course,i don't do drugs either. i'm single but sometimes, it feels like i'm attached. so you go try figure it out yourself. read this : nobody's perfect. so no use discriminating me. read and enjoy. no use hate-tagging,you haters

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